I'd rather be sleeping

You would be correct to assume that upon the conclusion of school for the year, a sense of celebration and the excitement for the fun-filled weeks of freedom to come would make anybody jump with joy. So why am I so restless that I have difficulty sitting still? It is that the summer holidays, which I have been anticipating for months before, looking forward to having the free time to do what I wish, no pressure of deadlines for assignments or exam revision, just pure me time, have finally happened and I have am clueless of what to do with myself? I feel tense and easily irritated with everyone who reminds me that in my spare time I should get to work, when they have no idea that I have worked myself into the ground, right to the point of burn out this year and the only thing I feel like doing is snoozing for a hundred years a là Sleeping beauty. It is as if no matter how much rest I get, I will never be able to feel motivated again.

There was a point after exams where my body had pushed itself to the end degree for two more bludge weeks of school, charging into holiday mode. Now I am free though, the limited days of relaxation presenting themselves before me as the only opportunities I have to get anything done before school starts for 2012, the pressure to get my family and friends Christmas presents before the twenty-fifth of December rolls around is gnawing at my every thought, but I simply cannot be bothered. I've just pushed myself so far that I am letting everything go - my nails have been picked down to the quick and are chipped, my hair is in desperate need of a trim and let spare you the details of the state of my desk.

Strangely, when you are counting the days until you are free from the school routine, longing for a change in the monotonous routine and it finally arrives, why is it that you then long for the comfort and certainty of the repetitive school routine again? Am I a sad individual for missing the routine? Or is it not the routine I am missing, but the feeling of progression and achievement that one feels during school time?

Why is life so unfair? And why can't I stop complaining about everything there is to complain about?